good morning to you too, morning-breath.
i stay classy even while i sleep.
bearded lady!? i’ll put you in a freak show.
i’d swear you keep bacon in your pockets.
tequila. (enough said.)
i hate tan lines.
i’ve drastically improved my typing skills. the bitch is back.
i got a man.
yeah, i get it. the heater is hot, i’m a dog. hot dog. it’s just not funny.
someone is getting a lump of poop in their stocking come christmas.